Your Daily Brush: Cultivating Pearls of Wisdom Out of Life's Difficulties
Unfortunately life is not without frustrations, irritations and even worse. But we have the power to create pearls of wisdom out of life's challenges and difficulties.
Dear Friends,
Who does not wish for smooth sailing all the time? A life free of hassles, frustrations and disappointments. Even if we cannot eliminate all challenges and difficulties, we could do with less of these.
And then there is the ugly and painful way life intrudes upon us - when we experience major events like the death of a loved one, divorce, our house burning down, or having to face a life-altering illness.
The list of unwanteds and undesirables - both big and small - can feel daunting. And on top of all that, none of us asked to be born! Yet here we are, called to make the best of things.
What can we do when we feel overwhelmed and helpless?
At such times it is important to remind ourselves that the one thing we can control in life is how we respond to events in our lives.
We can choose to respond with anger and bitterness. Or we can choose to look at our life experiences as part of the school of life, the one we enroll in by default when we are born.
I don’t mean to minimize the bad things that happen. They are real. And they are painful and can even have life-altering impact in some instances. These difficulties deserve time and space so we can sit with the loss and pain and acknowledge their impact.
The world is unfair. Bad things happen to good people. Life does not make sense at times.
Acknowledging this is just the first step if we are to move forward and not get caught into a deep dive of thoughts and emotions that can give rise to depressive-type feelings. At the same time, staying in the zone of the deep dive longer than is healthy carries the risk of getting stuck in a swamp of emotions such as powerlessness, anger, resentment and cynicism.
Up to a point, these are normal reactions. But when these emotions become extremely intense and interfere with our ability to function in daily life, it is a signal to seek professional help from a therapist or counselor. It might also be a situation that calls for anti-depressant medication and is something to discuss with one’s healthcare provider.
Because everyone reacts to situations differently, not everyone may need counseling. Nevertheless, there is still work to be done as part of moving forward in life. Even those who go for counseling or take medications can benefit from the following.
Rx: When bad things happen to good people, one way of coping is to gently and compassionately work to create meaning, which in turn can lead to gaining wisdom. This kind of learning is not usually found in traditional classrooms; but it is found in abundance in the school of life.
If you happen to find yourself in a situation that causes you pain, sadness, difficulty or frustration, in addition to acknowledging the event, you might want to consider these questions as tools to help you work toward wisdom, and in so doing, move forward:
How can I grow from this?
What can I learn from this?
How is my understanding of others deepened through this experience?
What good can I create from this?
How might I be able to help other people because of what happened to me or my family?
What is going right even in the face of difficulties?
What can I be grateful for, even when so much is going wrong?
Please remember, asking such questions is not meant to diminish the importance of adverse events. Only you will know when it is time to move forward from the shock and grief of the event. And when that times comes, these questions can help you find your way to the proverbial pearls of wisdom in life.
To your health!
